Oct 31, 2015

Just For Once

Just for once.

Will you ever let me go? Have you ever feel afraid of losing me? What if one day I'm no longer here. What if I'm gone forever. This is not a post to seek an attention. It a questions. The questions I always wonder. Sometimes, even people who always be there, the one you thought will never leave you. Leave. Because you take them for granted.Because at some point, they will get tired. They will giving up because fighting alone in a battlefield is not that easy. I might kill 100 people in the battle yet I might died being killed by 1 person because I'm tired. I've tried the best yet I'm not that strong. And I'm lose. I'm not asking too much. I will always be there. I will give everything you need. Is that not enough? If you don't want to lose anyone just one thing you got to do. Appreciate them. Don't ever take someone for granted. 

Yeah blog da updated! Holla stalker! haha Happy?

Depressing Note

It just frustrated that I have too many word in my mind but I can't let them out. I have a lot things to say about my feelings but I'm afraid it will hurt people I loved. Sometimes I wish I am strong enough to let things out but I am not. I was hurt. I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel hopeless, helpless and I think I don't deserve what I have now. Only once I want people to say that they need me, I want them to say that my presence matters and I mean something. Once. That feeling  I will never be good enough for anyone actually devastating. I want to be someone important. At least in your life. And I have this question stuck in mind.

If I'm no longer here. Will someone miss me? will they? will he? will she? will you?

Oct 18, 2015

A Love Letter to MSL 365 days with love

"...This is my love letter for you,
I still remember the first time I ever saw you laugh. You look so happy that time. I tengok dari belakang. Yes. I still remember that moment.
I boleh recall lagi the time I nampak you tunggu I kat lrt masa first date kita. Dan I masih rasa selesa untuk berbual dan bercerita dengan you sama dari first date kita sampai sekarang.
I masih ingat juga betapa susahnya I nak terima some part of you. Your life ans everything. But eventually, your flaws make me love you more and more everyday.
I love the way you laugh out loud. I love the way you eat. I love the way you talk about dota. I love the way you explain something to me. I still remember the terms NKVE. Yes I love everything about you. It comforts me in a lot of way.
I ingat lagi our first movie ever, Hunger Games. And you makan nasi ayam. Dan masa tu la kita ada first pic together.
I love when you take my picture. Candid. Seriously. Selalu bila balik date and you send all those candid pictures, I love it. And honestly, masa kat kedai buku, masa I tgah kusyuk buat something I betul tak sedar you candid gambar I. You got the perfect angle. Always.
The first time ever I teman you shopping. I ingat lagi. That was the exact time and date where I decided "I've set my eyes on you" I perhati setiap tindakan you dan I fall in love with your way.
I love the way you care and comforts me.
I love our late night conversations. I love how soothing your voice sounds to me. Thanks for everything. I mean, for everything. Susah senang. Thanks for always stay. And the most important thing thanks for loving me. Let's pray and hope for the best for the future. I want it to be more than 365 days, I want it to be forever. I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to be just a part of my past or present, but I want you to be there in my future."